Life is so full of many adventures we often get turned in the opposite direction from which we are headed. We strive to stay on the path we want to be on but sometimes life gets in the way and we are forced to search for a different road to get us back on the same path. We all want success and to enjoy life without hassle of the daily struggles. We all want the best in life no matter what it may be. We want to be able to enjoy the fruits of our labor and see our children to grow up to be even more successful than us. Most want to enjoy life by doing what we love career based. One way or another we eventually get to where we want to be once we’ve learned the lessons that life teaches us. Remember you will achieve what you put your heart into.
But there will always be a little darkness to balance the light in life. That darkness is the pain from the past that you have learned to live through.
Since birth I’ve struggled with finding myself. During my high school years I thought I had but that was just typical teenager thinking. Then after the birth of my son and a divorce I thought I was on my way to finding myself but unfortunately never could pinpoint who I was. I learned I loved odd things and knew I wanted to be a writer since I was small because I was proud of my creative mind. I tried off and on for years writing books and only wrote half of all things. Music and dancing took hold and I thought that was my muse. While music is still a big part of my life, it’s not exactly my muse. Writing still took hold and still I wrote. I guess that’s why I loved Facebook and wattapp because I could write instead of verbally talk. I learned recently I wasn’t a novel writer, it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I also took up a growing passion for yoga and slowly but surely fell in love with the art as well as Buddhism as the art of yoga is also tired into it. I realized blogging was something I was good at and I’m slowly getting better each day with yoga as it’s giving me confidence in myself and teaching me to work with my mind, body, and soul. My writing is getting noticed and that pleases me as people can relate to what I feel. At the age of 27 I feel I’m starting to see the woman in me that I’ve been waiting to see. I know my likes and dislikes. I know what I want in this world and what I want to leave behind when I die. I know this will change again after I get much older but I’m preparing my body now for the older me to be able to enjoy later on and that’s the gift I want to give my future self.
As you can see all over social media women like myself are finally standing up for themselves and speaking about the sexual assault they have faced. In some point in a woman’s life she will be assaulted and never speak about it because she’s scared as to what people will think. When I woman says no or doesn’t give you consent to touch her, you take your fucking hands off her. There was a time in my life where I was held against my will and raped and ended up falling in love with my rapist because I was dumb and naive and had no where to go. Back then I never realized it was rape until I grew up a little more. This man was 7 years my senior and knew what he did as he cried in my arms the next day apologizing for what he had done. Still the thought didn’t cross me because I was lost and confused and in a very bad mental state. Women are so easily abused and we expect men to be there to help us instead of abuse us. We will never be held silent again. Take a stand and use your voice.
Sometimes people ask me why I have snacks next to my bed and why not leave them in the kitchen? I’ll tell you because at 7am when my blood sugar bottoms out and I can barely move because I just got out of sleep paralysis. I need a snack to snap me out of it and there ain’t a thing wrong with having emergency cookies on your nightstand. Yes I eat sweets but not as much as you think and most people would think that’s they are on my nightstand but no they are there to save my ass such as this morning.
Sometimes your body and mentality need a break from the constant strain of a busy demanding life. Others struggle more than others but our struggles are each their own. I have been severely unmotivated this week from losing my job after putting in my two week notice in after receiving a new job. I have wanted to do yoga but have barely done any true flow except for a little bit of stretching and relaxation in the bath tub. I always watch these amazing women and men on Instagram practice so hard and I want to be like that one day. I am trying so hard to promise myself that I will begin again next week once I get past the weekend. I have hope of starting this new job sooner with the help of my new co workers taking their roles of upper management and pushing it to happen. I need to focus on my health and learn to get into the habit of doing yoga daily so that I can tone and lose weight but also calm my restless mind from the stresses of life. Sometimes simple struggles like that can get someone down and all they need is a little push. Don’t give up, take a break but don’t stop trying.
Since I was fired after putting in my two weeks notice in at my last job I knew i had some over time that would be on it but I didn’t know exactly what would be made of my last check. After the emotional break down of being stabbed in the back after busting my ass for a company i knew didn’t give two shits about me. I had wished for a miracle of a full paycheck as a way of my boss apologizing to me for what he did. I had every intention of walking in there to raise hell as i got my last check but the Goddess had told me to hold my tongue and I did just that. I walked in there and my old boss wanted to speak to me and told me it was nothing personal it was protection of the company and I told him it hurt what he did and he went ahead and said he would pay me for the full week to make it up to me and wished me the best. In that moment the Goddess had answered my inner wish that I had held onto this week. I left there with a sense of closure and a sigh of relief as I knew we could pay rent in full. Always pay attention what the Goddess has to say because she has a wonderful way of showing you that she has everything planned for you in the right time and order.
Getting a new car is never easy but it’s also fun because you get to upgrade into a newer model as the world advances around you. What’s never easy is leaving the current car that you had because you made alot of memories or it got you to a certain point in your life and helped you learn the true meaning of loyalty because that car was so dependable. I knew that car was on its very last limb no matter how much it was fixed the time would come for it’s replacement. Watching the tow men come and take it today was so sad but what made it so much worse was being there the minute the engine actually died when you least expected it to. I have seen human death and while it’s sad it’s something that I’m not very sensitive to and I’ll never understand that reason. Watching that truck figuratively take it’s last breath literally made me cry because I felt that truck knew it was time to go and that it completed its mission. Life works in the strangest of ways and this is something I’ll always keep in the back of my mind. Never forget the little things in life even if they are objects that don’t technically breathe life. They helped you get where you no matter your struggles.
Several weeks ago I interviewed for a job for a good company to advance my knowledge elsewhere. I knew it wouldn’t go over with my boss as I was told he doesn’t take kindly to workers who plan on leaving the company. I made my manager aware that I would be departing of my current position and she ended up telling the owner who in turn fired me for no reason and making things difficult. Because of that I am with barely half my pay and rent is due soon. Having half the rent might cause a problem. Being betrayed by a comer employer is by far the worst thing to ever happen. To think you could leave a job safely and transition into a new job. To be stabbed in the back. I trusted they would do good by me as I have by them. Have you ever had an employer do you wrong and fire you before you finished up your two week notice? Tell me your stories.
As a witch it can be very hard to stay concentrated on the goals you set and sometimes you need a little help from the divine as well as patience. Manifesting your dreams take hard work and you have to be willing to take a step back if the Goddess says it’s not time yet and put your focus else where. The Mother always has a plan for you despite what you may think. She has a way to guide you on the way to your dreams, you just have to have faith and wait for her call. When you really want something really bad you have to be patient focus on the item or thing you desire most and vision that you have just that. It may take time but you will get to where you need to be in time.